There is no direct attack, of course, but sometimes apologies are about what you didn’t do, instead of what you did. In this case, I think Jan would have a legitimate claim that you disreagrded/didn’t pick up on his obvious frustration. Rich’s description of the events is colored by his frustration with the outcome as well, but he is essentially describing the same thing. Jan said more or less directly, “the time I would put into this feature isn’t worth this drama,” and your next post did not attack him personally or professionally, but did fail to acknowledge that what you were posting was the source of that drama he was referring to.
100% valid, and I agree with many of the points you put forth in that issue and follow-ups that you put in Jan’s PR.
What I’m saying is that the when Jan signaled exasperation there’s no evidence that you took the time for introspection. It doesn’t really look like you tried to find that “huge place for compromise”. I read many of your comments as saying, “let me help you get your contribution to match exactly what I see as the only solution.” Not many would truly interpret that as help. And that comes back to what Rich is saying, I think. What you posted should, instead, have summed to “let’s get this to a place that, even if not exactly what I was expecting, sets everyone off in the right direction, with the chance to reach (eventually) something special in the long run.”
Edit:
I’ve only been on these boards extensively for maybe 5 or 6 years. But even in that time alone, I can think of a couple of situations where clashes that started out as reasonable “philosophical differences” such as this escalated to sufficient bad blood to cost OH excellent contributors. I’d hate to see that happen here in either the case of you or Jan.
