Personally for any remote access I only trust Apple (HomeKit) and VPN. My phone is always on VPN when not home.
True I also experienced that - however it depends on the topic, there are questions I got great answers. For example, I’m trying to solve the puzzle to schedule things in HA, got some idea to use internal calendar to do so, brilliant idea.
Given that said there are also things that didn’t go well, people complaining about lack of support for Heater/Cooler in Homekit etc, and min step is always 0.5, 
In general I’m happy with my setup, but you might have something different so best suggestion is to try both. For HA don’t run in Docker, get the HAOS which works much better.
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