Again though, this is undetectable, so we can only stop retries completely - right?
I’m not sure I understand. The system IS a two way communications system - this is required. So, yes, it has broken down because something in your system is broken.
Even if we don’t retry, your system is already not working properly. The system is waiting for the response and this is delaying all communications on your network.
I would strongly suggest you try and resolve the issue by fixing the communications. Again - as it currently stands, the device can’t be configured and will not work properly. I really can’t see a point in making the system overly complex for an issue that should be resolved through other means. In 5+ years of working on ZWave, I’ve not come across such a request and it really makes no sense - sorry.