I’m sorry to be blunt…
“That will never meet your expectations”
Consider removing the mechanical switch completely and use a smart switch instead.
IE…
Smart switch/es signal your house controller. (Thus giving you a status)
House controller signals the relay that is actually switching power to the light / fixture.
Golden rule is…
“Only one physical device should switch power”
Good luck.
A quick search found this thread about smart buttons, this isn’t a recommendation, just a suggestion of things to think about.